Destroyed
by Saiya-hime
Summary: Donnie was the best at fixing things that were broken. Yet, who will fix him? It happed so fast, the Kraang attacks, Slash and the Shredder...what more can Donnie give to his brothers? (Dark themes, M for dub-con, Non-con and severe depression.)
1. Trap

He watched carefully the flex of the other's muscles and calculated each and every move he could possibly make and how to counter it. He heard the hand tighten on the handle of the Sais knowing that it was then the attack was decided by his opponent and he had a one in ten thousand shot to counter. The odds were not in his favor but were they truly ever? He took his Bo and pushed the offensive hand to the side barely missing his face in the process. The other let out a grunt and he didn't have to look down to see the leg coming up. He turned his body slightly allowing the appendage to make contact with his back. The other let out a hiss before drawing back. He stood there waiting for the other to make his move. His wait wasn't long as he charged forward. It was easy enough to deflect his attacks using his Bo to push the hands off to the side.

He could tell the other was frustrated at the fact that he wasn't fighting back. He was simply dodging and diverting. His Bo once nearly made contact with the other's head but he shown his mastery of his weapon and stopped it merely a centimeter or two from the other's face. It took only a split second as he was lost in calculating to not notice the leg sweep at his own, knocking him to the ground where his neck quickly became acquainted with the Twin Sais. His chocolate brown pools looked up into emerald orbs who seemed pleased with themselves. "Ya dead." Was all he had to say about it as the echo of the cane hit the tatami mat two times signaling the end of the spar.

"Very good _Raphael__,_ usingthe distraction of one's opponent to your advantage is tactful." The fatherly tone said as the rat mutant stepped forward. He placed his hand on the red clad turtle's shoulder. A silent sign of praise and approval. He then turned his keen eyes to the other. "Donatello, while it is admiral not to wish harm to your opponents bear in mind that they will not hesitate to end your life if given the chance that you have given to your brother." He picked up his son's Bo staff and handed it to him. "You had the advantage at one point, you could have won had you not hesitated and withdrew your attack."

The young terrapin bowed his head respectfully. "I did not was to hurt him Master." It was the simple truth. He never wished harm upon any but being a ninja, such was hard not to know the cries of pain you have caused another. Yet, he would suffer an eternity of screams caused by his own hands before he was willing to allow the death of one of his brothers.

The elder sighed softly. "Donatello, you are ninja. It is this skill of Ninjutsu that I teach you so you can defeat your opponents such as the Shredder. Do you think he will hesitate to kill you or your brothers?" He received a soft no in response. "No he will not. He will kill you if given the chance, he will kill your brothers if given the chance." His eyes narrowed slightly. "Will you give him that chance?" once more a quiet no. "You, Donatello, of all my sons have a gentle heart. Such is rare in ninja. It is admirable as I have said but it has also lead to the down fall of each." He could see that his son understood his words, that all four of them had. "Training is over for today."

"Awww yeah! Pizza time!" the youngest of them shouted as he ran from the Dojo and to the kitchen.

Raphael looked over to his brother who remained in his place on the floor before sighing and shaking his head. He walked over and held out his hand. "Ya did good Donnie." He said. "If ya sitck woulda hit me I'd look worse than Mikey!" he joked causing his younger brother to laugh slightly.

"Hey! I heard that!" the angered shout of the youngest was heard from the kitchen.

The eldest walked over and placed his hand on the Purple clad turtle's shoulder. "Not bad. You could improve on your stance a bit but other than that it was nearly flawless." He took the Bo Staff from his brother's hands and set it near the other weapons.

"Thanks guys. I thought Sensei was going to ream me big time for that." He smiled and took the hand of his strongest brother who helped to pull him up. "Besides, I don't want to be the reason Raph has to go get a new mirror." He was then pulled into a nuggie from said turtle.

"Oh yeah brainiac?! Think ya better look'en then me?!" he joke as he knocked him to the tatami mats below.

"Of course he is Raph. Donnie is our little princess after all!" Leo said as he headed for the door. "Come on sweetheart sing us a song!"

The purple turtle sighed contently. His brothers never treated him any differently. They didn't see him as weak like his Master had implied, they saw him as strong and worthwhile. He stood up quickly and ran to the kitchen where his brother argued about the pizza left overs.

"I was here first!" Mikey cried out as he reached for the piece Raph currently had. "Come on get your own!" he said as he began to pout. He knew none of them could resist it long, it wqas the perk of being the baby brother.

The larger turtle smiled. "I just did." He punched him on the arm. "What are you gonna do about it?!" he wasn't going to fall for it. The eyes were hard to resist but he had to ignore him.

"This!" His eyes grew to nearly three times their size and tears pricked at his baby blues. He made a pathetic whimpering sound like that of a kicked puppy.

"Aww Damn it!" he cried. "I hate when ya get like that!" he moaned and slowly moved to give him the pizza. Just as he was about to take it… "Got ya!" he shouted as he downed it in front of his baby brother.

"DUDE! THAT WAS SO NOT COOL!" he growled out as he weakly hit his brother's arm. "That was the best piece!"

The elder chuckled. "An' it went to da best!" he cracked.

Donatello shook his head and smiled at the scene. Leave it to Raph to rile up Mikey. "Here." He said softly as he took out his own pizza. "You can have mine." He pushed the pizza to his younger brother who happily hugged him.

"Donnie did I ever tell you you are like…The best big brother ever?" he cried out. "Cuz you are dude! The best!" he devoured the slice before patting his belly. "That hit the spot big time!"

Leo finished chewing his piece. "I thought I was the best big brother yesterday when I helped you clean your room?" he asked narrowing his eyes at the light skinned turtle.

"Dude don't you know, the fastest way to a turtle's heart is through his tummy?" he said pointing an accusing finger at his brother as if it was he who had ventured upon offense.

Leo looked at the pizza box that was now empty. "Donnie, did you get anything to eat?" he asked noticing the other tinkering with one of the gadgets he was currently working on. Leo had been noticing the other's clever way of getting out of eating meals at times and it was worrying him. Not wanting to worry the others, he kept it to himself.

"No, but I'll be fine. I just phoned April a while ago to bring some food down." He moved over to the cat cookie jar on the fridge, the one with the chipped ear that Mikey had found one day in the trash and had begged his genius brother to fix for him. Lifting the lid, the cat made a quick "MEOW!" sound before he shut it. He quickly counted the cash and frowned when he turned to his brothers. "Who took from our food jar?!" his eyes moved to each brother who held guilty looks on their faces.

"Dude! New Issue!" he said waving the comic around. "I just had to know what happens to Captain Badazz!" he dove into the comic again ignoring his brother's look of disapproval.

He then turned to Raphael. "Don't give me that look! I was practically begg'en for the damn thing!" he said as he pulled out his new pair of Sais he would use on the special occasion of whipping Shredder's ass. "Ya said I could get 'em anyway…"

"That was before I knew I needed the replacement cylinder for Metalhead! Raph if he goes down so do all of our security for the lair!" he sighed heavily but blamed himself for forgetting to tell him.

Lastly he looked to his eldest brother and frowned. "I needed oils and a new sharpening stone for my Katanas." He said, believing he was in the right because he needed them to be in top shape for battle.

Donnie didn't say anything else. He shook his head and reviewed the list he was going to give to April. The money he had would barely cover half of what they needed. It was him after all who earned it. On his down days he worked as an IT consultant over the phone and had the money wired straight into April's Father's bank account where she then was able to use if for her needs as well as theirs. If he were to forgo the cylinder in place of allowing for all of the food to be bought, he may be able to scavenge for one. He decided to try that before telling Mikey that he couldn't have his favorite cereal, or that there was going to be no stake for Raph and no green tea for Leo. No, instead he would go Topside and try to find the item he needed in the local scrapyard and maybe even salvage some other treasures.

He made his way to the lab where he found Metalhead just as he had left him. His head was open and wires were sticking out in all directions. He smiled and placed his hand on the cool metal surface. "Don't worry buddy, I'll fix you." He said softly. Moving over to the part of the Lab that made up his room he grabbed his Bo Staff and slung the satchel over his shoulder.

"Look the little princess has gotten her purse!" Raph teased as he walked into the lab. He looked down at Metalhead and smiled. "Looks like ya seen better days." He remarked knowing there would be no response.

Donnie ignored him and continued to look for things he would need. A small flash light he had made just for the purpose of inspecting the treasures for flaws. His Shell Phone, in case of attack and a baggie full of quarters in case he got thirsty he could use the vending machines. He turned to his hot headed brother who was messing with the robot turtle. "Raph please don't touch him yet. Do you remember what happened last time?"

The other rolled his eyes. "Yeah, Yeah the pin popped out 'n it took ya weeks ta find a new one." God he wished his brother would get over it already. He didn't know the pin was gone until Donnie mumbled and grumbled about it.

"Months, Raph, it took me Months to find a new one." He sighed and walked toward the door of the lab with his Bo staff secured on the back of his shell for safe keeping.

"We're worried 'bout ya." The elder said suddenly and off topic. Donnie froze and looked toward his brother. "Ya barely eat, ya shut ya self in da lab staying up all hours of the damn night doing god knows what." He sighed and looked up at his younger brother. "Take it easy Donnie boy." He said softly.

Donatello nodded. "I'm fine. Like I said I'm working on Metalhead. If his systems go down…" he didn't want to think of the possibility that Shredder or the Kraang found their Lair. Although it was a one in a million chance he wasn't about to gamble their lives, he didn't want to risk the loss of one of his family members.

"Then da whole security system goes with 'em. I know Donnie, just be careful alright?" he asked. He trusted Donnie the most out of all of them. Donnie never let him down, ever. If he hadn't promised Casey an ass whipping he most likely would have gone along with him just to be sure. "Ya got your Shell Phone?"

The other pulled it out and waved it in the air. "I'll be fine, never been caught yet." He said proudly. He knew the other was worried due to the increase of Kraang sightings and Foot activity. Not to mention the recent attack by Slash that nearly took them out. They were all on edge. "I'm going to grab the cylinder Raph and be back in time for dinner." He promised.

Raphael was not totally convinced but he said nothing about it. Donnie was always the sensible one, the silent one, the one all others turned to, and he was the glue that held the family together. After all, it was Donnie that convinced Raphael to stay at home when he and Leo had that big fight. Donnie knew just what to say and how to say it. "Just be careful."

With a nod he slipped out of the door and through the lair before disappearing down the sewer. The eldest brother moved to him and sighed. "He's going to be late." He said softly. "He'll sneak in and skip dinner like last time."

"Then we'll stay up and make 'em eat." He said cracking his knuckles. He was worried, Donnie has gotten thinner and it can clearly be seen. Hell, his shell seemed almost too big on him. Donnie was going to eat something, even if he had to hold him down and shove it down his throat.

~LRDM~

It had been three hours since Donnie left that April came running into the lair with Casey hot on her tail. They were panting from their run causing the other's alarm to rise. Their first thoughts were that something happened to Donnie, that he was discover and is severely hurt. "April, Casey what's wrong?!" Leo ran to them hoping for a quick answer.

"It's…Kraang…Warehouse…Mutagen…Lots of it!" She said between panted breaths. They had run all the way from the warehouse to the lair.

Leo turned to his team of brothers, noting quickly the lack of their genius they severely needed when facing the technologically advanced aliens. They were at a huge disadvantage.  
"Mikey…" he turned to his orange clad brother who had the shell phone to his ear.

"No Donnie, dude it's the Kraang…Like Shell! We don't know dottily squat when it comes to octobrains." He said and noted Leo's look of disapproval. "Dude I so beat you to the punch." He boasted able to think of a solution to their missing techy turtle before the others had. "He says he's in route and heading there now."

"Good, tell him to wait for us and not to engage unless necessary." He patted April's back. "Think you can take us there?" he asked her now that her breathing was normal.

She nodded. "I saw a few people there. I'm sure they are conducting experiments! I just hope they're not too late…" she said softly recalling what happened to her father. The last thing she wanted was for anyone else to become mutated.

"Listen Red, that place is stocked full of that stuff. All we gotta do is swipe it and Gaptooth can have a field day." Casey said, hopping to cheer her up even slightly. Donnie was having trouble creating a cure because he never had much to work with. "If we get that warehouse maybe he can find a cure."

Hope flared in her eyes. "Yeah, come one let's go!" A cure meant so much, not just to her but to everyone. A cure meant that Splinter could finally be with Karai and live as a family. That hope fueled them all. Perhaps, she wondered. Perhaps the cure could turn the Turtles human, could give them a life that the sewers never could.

~LRDM~

Donnie was forced to abandon his search in favor of helping the others. It didn't bother him any, his brothers over a cylinder. Across the rooftops, he ignored the streets below in favor of focusing and calculating his best route, their best chance for survival, the chance of securing the mutagen and curing April's father. It was his fault after all. If he had been more precise and not have rounded the chance up…It was his fault. He kicked up off the cold rooftop and silently slid to a halt.

A woman was hanging her laundry out to dry. He sighed as she moved to grab the last garment only for it to be grabbed by a small child who happily gave it to her. She pet his head and took the skirt. His eyes looking on in wonder that the light in the child's eyes, eyes so innocent that he had no idea of the cruelty in the world.

Sighing, he waited for them to leave before he continued on his way to the warehouse. It didn't take him long to find the palace crawling with the cliché look of the disguised Kraang Droids. He took one glance, counting seven in total, two to the left, three in front and two to the right. He crouched silently, waiting, watching. From his place he could see a through a few of the windows. There were six people inside, all caged, one being a child clutched tightly in her mother's arms.

He watched as the Kraang as they moved to the cage, pushing past the adults and to the small girl. He heard the mother's screams as she lowered her body, wrapping herself protectively around her child. It took no time for the Kraang to rip them apart and take the child toward the chair under the mutagen.

Leo had forbid him to engage without cause, this was a cause he could not ignore. No child was going to become a mutant, not while he had a chance to help. Silently, with the stealth taught by his master, he was able to slip past the guards and make his way in through the window. He landed silently onto the metal beam above them and looked around. The place seemed almost unguarded, nearly too easy for him to attack the six Kraang in the warehouse. Thirteen Kraang in total, far smaller than their normal accumulation perhaps to keep a low profile? He shrugged as they began to snap the child, no older than ten, into the chair despite her cries as well as those of her mother. The other adults shook at the cage, hoping for it to somehow fall but they held fast despite their efforts.

He scanned the area quickly trying to find the object of his desire. Once his eyes made contact with the small box mark with red and yellow stripes reading danger he smiled. With the flick of his wrist the star hit its mark blackening the entire building.

"Kraang, is this the thing that is known as, Blackout?" one asked another.

There was a crash followed by the screaming of one of their own. "Kraang, has Kraang slipped?" another crash, followed by another and another. Something was going on and he readied his weapon. "The one who is hidden, show yourself so you may be defeated by Kraang." There were shots fired, lighting the room briefly with each blast before another crash was heard.

~LRDM~

Leo threw his hands in the air as they watched Donnie slip into the warehouse. "Damn it!" he heard the strongest of them growl out. They had spotted him waiting on the rooftop and was about to regroup with him when he started to move in on his own. It wasn't like him to act without a reason and each knew that there had to be something that drew him in.

"What do we do now?" April asked just as the place went dark. They moved closer, listening to the commotion inside. The guards outside didn't seem phased in the lightest, they just stood there. Shots fired and the adrenaline began to pump through them all. Donnie was in there...alone.

April let out a grunt of pain as she held her head. Images flashed through her mind too fast to truly comprehend. Voices filled her, surrounded her and she tried to focus. An image appeared before her, lasting more than all the others. An image of someone she knew dearly. "Donnie!" she cried out. "We have to get him out of there! It's a trap!" The others looked at her curiously. She rolled her eyes. "I don't know why but they are after Donnie!" That's all it took before the brothers ran in, attacking the seven guards who held strong.

These were Kraang elites, the explanation why there had been so few of them. They had studied each of the Turtles moves, mastering in their each individual style. More shots fired inside as they fought hard to get in, to get to their brother before the Kraang could do him harm. "DONNIE!"

~LRDM~

He watched as the last Kraang fell. Giving a satisfied smirk he then moved to the cage and picked the lock. Once opened he made his way to the little girl. With ease he allowed the hidden blade to be made visible and he cut the thick leather straps before turning around. He had to remain unseen after all. "DONNIE!" he turned his head in the direction of the cry and felt a sudden pain in the back of his neck.

His vision began to blur as he fell to his hands and knees. He was growing weaker, fighting was out for the question as he looked up at the little girl whose finger was pointed at him, the tip open like the barrel of a gun.

"Kraang has secured the one known as Donatello."

It was the last thing he heard as darkness took him.

**A/N**

**Hope you like my first TMNT fic. This is based on the 2012 turtles. Will update when I can, Dark themes to come later as well as rated M material. **


	2. Confinement

***DISCLAIMER!

I do not own TMNT nor the characters, the storyline is altered somewhat to fit my insanely complex need to show my love for Donatello. ***

~LRDM~

Leo dodged the attack from the last Kraang droid before splitting it in two with his katana. He watched as it fell before him and the small squid like alien screeched before running off. He turned to the others who were frantically trying to enter the warehouse. "The window!" he shouted and instantly the two younger brothers moved on his command. He was worried. There wasn't a single sound coming from the place and Donnie had not emerged. His heart pounded wildly in his chest. If something happened to Donnie…how could he face their father? How could he ever face himself again?

Rage, pure unadulterated rage. That's all Raphael could call it as he plowed through the Kraang droids. How dare they! How dare they attempt to take his brother, to take the kindest of them! He yelled as he watched the last of his droids fall, the head still sparking from where he had impaled it on his staff. Leo was still fighting so he opted to heading over to Mikey to find a way in. The orange clad turtle was terrified and acting clumsier then ever as he tried to force the door open. "We got to get him! We can't let them take him!" he shouted, fear clear in his voice. "Move o'er!" he said as he smashed his sai into the key hole. It broke instantly but the door remained unmoved. "Damn it!" she shouted as he bashed his shoulder into it, hopping it would budge. It held its own. "The window!" he hear their fearless leader shout. Without hesitation he made his way up to the open window.

Fear. That's what Mikey knew he was feeling. Not for himself but for his brother. He looked at the two Kraang droids that surrounded him. He didn't have time to mess around. Extending the hidden blade he swung it in a quick circle before calling it back to his hand. Both Kraang fell, their heads severed. He ran for the door frantically kicking at it and barreling into it in hopes of dislodging it. His small body was useless, he couldn't get in. "We got to get him! We can't let them take him!" he shouted sounding pitiful as he did. "Move o'er!" his hope flared as Raph, the strongest of them, moved his sai into the key hole. He had broken into buildings before doing this, so in no time they would be in and rescuing Donnie. Tears pricked his eyes as he saw the lock brake. Raph cursed and bashed the door with his shoulder, it didn't work. "The window!" Leo called and he was the first to make his way up and through the opening.

The tree brothers noted the lights coming from a truck, lighting up just enough for them to see their unconscious brother arms bound tightly his legs tied even tighter. His bo was in the hands of and exposed Kraang droid, the kind lacking the human face. "Kraang must move swiftly if Kraang wishes not to encounter the ones known as the other turtles." He said as they moved to collect the fallen terrapin.

Raph jumped down, yelling viciously as he cut the hands from the droid that had laid his robotic hands on his sibling. "Don't ya eva touch 'em!" he shouted standing protectively in front of his younger brother. Leo and Mikey joined him as they took out two others.

"Raph, take him and go!" Leo ordered. He and Mikey were going to buy them time.

"No! They ain't get'en off dat eazy Leo!" he practically screamed. "I'm gonna kill 'em! They gone too far this time! I'm gonna kill 'em all and send a clear ass message to every one!" he shouted as he took a step forward.

Leo extended his katana blocking his brother's path. "I understand but right now Donnie is exposed! He can't fight! Neither of us could carry him for long, you have to go, now!" he ordered. "Don't make me pull rank on you Raph."

The red clad turtle knew Leo was right. Donnie was vulnerable. If, during the fight they lost track of him...He growled out as he pointed his sai at one of them. "Next time, I ain't hold'en back!" he retracted his weapons and scooped up his brother bridal style. He looked down at the peaceful expression on his brother's face. "Why you?" he whispered as he made his way out the door.

It was getting colder in New York, winter was fast approaching and the turtles were going to be slowed down but that wasn't today. Raph had made it far enough away that he laid Donnie down for a moment. He never took his eyes off of him as he moved to the hanging clothes and pulled down the blanket hanging there. He took out his sai and cut the ropes. The angered turtle then leaned against the wall, pulled his brother into a tight embrace and wrapped them in the blanket. It was warmer this way. Emerald eyes looked down at the face that rested on his muscular shoulder. His mouth was slightly open and his breaths were warm and wet as they tickled his skin. He cupped his brother's face and stroked his cheek with his thumb. "I almost killed 'em…" he whispered. "Would ya have hated me if I did?" he wondered. Donnie had always been against killing, that's why he used a bo. It's true the hidden blade could kill someone, but it was used more for cutting through the robotic bodies of the Kraang droids. He himself would never turn it against another living being. Donnie sighed in his sleep and nuzzled closer to Raph. The other chuckled. "Either that's a yes or ya try'en ta get warmer."

"Donnie!" April ran over to them her tessen in hand. "I-Is he…" her worried look was enough to make him wince internally.

Casey smiled as he put a supportive hand on her shoulder. "Look." He said pointing his finger at the rising and falling of Donnie's chest. "He's okay, see breathing." He himself was relieved by it.

"I was so worried that they got to him! I didn't know what to do!" she was shaking softly. "Where are the others?" she asked looking around.

"Right here." Leo jumped down and moved directly to Donnie. He frowned at the marks on his wrists and ankles from where the ropes had been. "We can't stay, the one called for backup before we took him down."

Mikey fidgeted in his place. "Oh, he's okay right?! Tell me he's going to be okay?!" he clearly couldn't handle it. That had been too close for comfort, way too close. He watched as his brother took a breath and smiled in triumph. "I knew he couldn't be taken down so easily!"

Raph carefully stood up. "Here." Leo said as he handed his brother the bo. "Use it to support him." He nodded as Leo and Mikey put Donnie on the larger turtle's back and onto the bo. It was the same way Donnie had carried April safely out of the Kraang ship during the invasion. The olive turtle's hands draped over his brother's shoulders. "Put da blanket on 'em." He said. He wasn't happy about taking someone's blanket but he would be sure to return it when they were done.

~LRDM~

Upon seeing his sons running into the lair he had felt relief. His sons, as well as April and Casey were all safe. It was when his eyes locked onto his genius son's lulled head that the true panic set in. "What happened?!" he asked moving quickly to the couch where Raph had begun to lay Donnie. "Is he…" the quick shaking of his youngest's head was enough to ease his nerves if only slightly.

"Master, we were on a mission. There were Kraang and mutagen. April said she thought they were experimenting on humans so we called Donnie to meet us there." He watched on as their Master checked over their fallen brother's body. "He went in alone, we don't know why but it's not like him. Then April said that they were after Donnie, we broke through their defenses and found him like this." He bowed lowly to their master. "Forgive me! I have failed him!"

Splinter sighed heavily. "No, you did not. Had you abandoned him then yes you would have but you did not. You acted like a true leader Leonardo, I'm sure your brother will tell you himself when he wakes." He held his son's hand as he rubbed his head tenderly.

"You mean he's gonna wake up!" Mikey said happily.

"Hai. He was shot by a seishin antei-zai. He will awake in a few hours." He said softly.

Casey rubbed the back of his head and smiled brightly. "I'm new ta all this and well frankly I don't speak Chinese…"

"Japanese, Casey." Leo corrected. "And it's a tranquilizer dart."

Raph began to shake in fury. They drugged him…they had drugged his brother and were going to take him to some god forsaken place for whatever reason and they were almost too late to save him…he was almost too late.

"Calm yourself Raphael. You are upset as we all are." He didn't even turn from Donatello. "Miss O'Neil, can you tell us anything?" this time he turned and stood up. "Any information at this point would be helpful." He moved to the Kitchen to fill a bowl with cold water and grabbed a rag.

"He broke a fever hasn't he." Raph asked.

"A slight one, a side effect." Their father replied as he took his place beside his son again and placed to cool rag there.

April thought hard, pushing herself past her normal limits to remember. "I…I can't recall it all…so fast…" the pain was unbearable and she was forced to stop. "All I can say is that they want him, badly."

The old rat stroked his beard and nodded. "Thank you, that is enough for me to make my decision." He lowered his head and he looked at his son. He was already regretting this, but what choice did a father have?

Leo looked at him intently. "Decision, Master what decision?" he was getting worried now.

Splinter stood up and put on his serious face. "As of this moment, Donatello cannot be allowed to leave the lair, under any circumstances." He looked at the shocked faces of all before him. "Is that clear?"

~LRDM~

Chocolate eyes fluttered open. At first he couldn't make anything out, just blurry lines and smears across his vision. His head was pounding and his mouth was dry. He felt like that moment between sleep and awake, that hazy weak feeling that he hated so much. He felt like he was in water, the sounds were muffled but he knew somehow that they were familiar. He turned his head slowly, softly to the side. He smiled softly when his eyes, even though blurred, looked on at the unmistakable color of red.

"He's awake everyone! He's up!" Raph shouted as he moved over and gripped his brother's hand tightly. The others moved to them quickly, smiling and breathing a sigh of relief. "Hey Donnie-boy, how ya feeling?" he asked.

Said turtle's face dropped as he moved quickly to the side of the couch and vomited. There was little in his stomach as it was and all that come out was yellow goop. April ran to get a bowl as Mikey rubbed soothing circles on Donnie's shell. They watched helplessly as Donnie rid his body of any and all nourishment he had. "Leonardo, fetch him some green tea quickly!" splinter said fearfully. Leo did as told and even added some honey to help sooth his throat.

They watched him heave for what seemed like hours, the mere force of it was bad enough to produce tears which ran down his face. Raph clenched his fist tightly. Leo shouldn't have interfered. He should have let him kill those bastards. This was too far, for anyone. A hand touched his and instantly he turned to see those soft chocolate eyes that could melt his heart like butter. He was smiling at him, as best he could. "Relax Raph, I'll be fine." He said his voice scratchy due to the dryness of it. He laid his head back on the pillow and let out a soft exhale. Leo put the cup to his lips. "I know it's not your favorite, but it's better than coffee at the moment." Donnie wrinkled his face. It made everyone laugh, knowing he preferred his caffeine. He drank it without much more of a fuss.

The olive-skinned terrapin closed his eyes, relaxing his body. "Guess I messed up huh?" he asked. He was the only one who seemed to have been hurt beyond the normal bruising.

"Dude, why did you go in there alone? That's usually Raph's thing." Mikey said softly, concerned at what could have possessed his brother to go in alone. For the Raph comment said turtle smacked him upside his head.

Donnie chuckled. "I thought they were gonna mutate a little girl. I didn't know when you guys were going to get there." He opened his eyes. "Turned out it was just a Kraang droid." He looked at them all. They looked angry but more so relieved that he was okay. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be! Any of us would have done the same!" Casey shouted out. "You got guts Gaptooth!" he looked to the others for approval.

He smiled softly before closing his eyes again. "Thanks…" he sighed, his body relaxing and he drifted off to sleep.

"Let him rest. Raphael, take him to his room. He will be fine tomorrow." Splinter stood up and shook his head. "My sons, your brother will need your support now more than ever. This will be hard on him, he will not be able to go with you on missions. Fear will be his down fall." He took a deep breath. "Do not give him reason to fear."


	3. Fear

Donatello had woken up again hours ago, in his lab. His head was spinning but other than that he felt fine. He slowly rose from his bed, holding his head as he did so to try and keep the room from spinning. His eyes were shut tight and he fought the urge to vomit. He took a deep breath and relaxed. "Glad ta see ya up Donnie-boy." Chocolate brown eyes looked up at his older brother. He looked worried but also relieved.

His green eyes locked on the other, his eyes shooting all around the younger with fear, almost as if he were waiting for something horrible to happen to him. It was a habit of his when his brothers were hurt, a habit that remained since they were children. Let it be known that Raphael loved his brothers dearly. "Ya look a little green."

The purple clad turtle smiled. The joke was old but it brought warm memories. Memories from before the attacks, before their lives were put in danger. Before their world changed forever by going to the surface world. Before his insomnia due to…He banished the reason from his mind, thinking about that now wouldn't help. Things were not as easy as they seem, Donatello knew that. He knew better than the others. His smile faded as he thought of that day three weeks ago despite having tried to banish it.

"Donnie? Earth to Donnie!" Raph waved his hand in front of the other's face. This was normal for the Braniac. He always spaced out when he was thinking. Something was up, and he figured it had to do with three weeks ago. He sighed heavily; he was trying to be patient. Trying to give Donnie space. It had not escaped Raph's attention that his insomnia had worsened in the last three weeks. Raph had blamed himself for it, for the stress he had caused Donnie. He took a deep breath. He had waited for his answer for so long. He wanted to know, needed to know what the other had truly thought of the idea.

Sorrowful chocolate eyes looked up at him, understanding what he wanted. "Raph…I…I haven't decided yet. Between running around on patrols and working on my projects…I can't think straight…I…" he felt a strong callused hand on his shoulder. It was strong but also held a sense of gentleness that no one would think Raphael could possess. He needed that, it grounded him to reality when his mind was a vortex of 'what if's' and 'how to's'.

The other smiled softly, understandingly. "It's okay lil bro, just relax and think it through." He wasn't going to push the issue, not so soon after the kidnapping attempt. No, he would wait, after all Donnie was forbidden to leave the lair. The sudden reality hit the hothead. Donnie was going to be the only one left at home, the one who would worry for them. He would curse himself for not being there and fear for their lives. 'Fear will be his downfall.' At the time he didn't understand his Master. Now, now he did and the reality pained him. What would Donnie do if his fear had grown to be too much to bear? Donnie's love for his brothers ran deep with in him. He rarely was vocal about it, but he showed it in the things he did and invented to keep them safe or make their lives better. He hugged him then, holding him tightly. "We thought we lost ya…"

"Dude! No hugging in the family unless I'm there!" Mikey bounced in jumping on the bed and wrapped his arms around his older brothers. "There! Donnie sandwich." The goofball nuzzled into his immediate older brother's neck before looking up at him contently. "Alright Donnie, give your brother some sugar!" he puckered his lips and closed his eyes. Instead of meeting Donnie's lips he was met with a smack to the face by Raph. "DUDE! Kisses make everything better!" he pouted sticking his lower lip out. He was childish yes, but sometimes it took a carefree attitude to make the others relax. His fun loving ways and innocent pranks kept the tension low with in his home and his brothers needed that, none more than Donnie.

"Raph you didn't have to smack him." The olive skinned turtle said softly, inspecting the growing bruise. He noticed the look in his baby brother's eyes and the way he moved into his touch. Donnie's breath was caught in his throat. So it was the same with Mikey. He wanted his answer as well but wouldn't ask for it. He was giving him time and patients, something unheard of from Mikey the Prankster. He took a deep breath and sighed, removing his hand from the other. All he needed to deal with now was…

"How are you feeling?" Leo. Their leader stood a few feet from the bed, a concerned look in his eyes. By the way he was standing, stiff and proper, he had been in a long discussion with Master Splinter. Donnie knew it was about what had happened and what they would do about it. The obvious solution would be to ground him, to keep him safe in the lair until they discovered why the Kraang had wanted to kidnap him. Yet, if they were going to face the Kraang without him… "You always were the smart one." Donnie's dark eyes looked to his eldest brother who was now sitting on the bed next to him after shooing Mikey to move behind him. "You figured it out didn't you?"

Mikey looked to his oldest brother with a confused look on his face. "Figured what out? He already knows we love him bro!" he said jumping for joy and hugging the turtle in question.

"No bonehead, Donnie figured out what Splinta said." Even he was surprised by the fact that he was able to deduce that by simply looking at Fearless. His genius brother was something else entirely.

Donnie nodded. "It's for the best. Besides now I can finish my projects in peace." He forced a smile as he looked at his brothers. Deep in his heart he had planted his fear, the fear of losing his brothers. He couldn't be there for them, he couldn't decode the security systems from the Kraang computers, he couldn't rewire portals and he couldn't deduce what the Kraang were up to by the weapons they had. He loved his brothers but they couldn't tell the difference from a bazooka and a deatomizer.

"It is good to think on the Brightside my son, but do not hide in the light for too long." He rubbed his beard and looked to his sons.

"Why not sensei?" Mikey asked.

"Simple, you will get sunburn." Almost instantly the tension in the room died with the roar of laughter coming from the teen boys. Each couldn't help it, Splinter had made a joke and it was actually funny. He looked at his sons with love and admiration. They were strong for their years and each possessed a spirit of their own. Their bond as warriors was close but their bond as brothers far closer. For that he was truly grateful. Yet, his eyes wandered to a certain turtle. He was the one son that left him questioning. He was always so quiet so drawn up in his projects and job that he barely remembered to eat, drink and sleep. He had found himself asking his brothers to bring him food; to be sure he was eating because Donatello was the kind of turtle to worry about them. He once walked in on his son staring at the various monitors, scanning the security cameras after the Foot Droids had found their lair. He knew the paranoia, the fear in his eyes whenever something on the screen appeared he stood quickly and drew his Bo only to find it was a rat. The late hours were seen in his training, in the fact that his movements were slow and his skills diminished. He would take the beating though, take the countless blows and get back up never doing much else but dodging and knocking them down. Though, he himself had seen that in battle, Donatello did not hesitate to attack when defending his brothers. He was quick to use his staff to knock the enemy unconscious, never harming them outside of simple bruises and scrapes or a bad headache. For this reason he believed more of the Foot ninja and Purple dragons chose to fight him. Leonardo had said that more chose to fight him that it was to the point the others had to step in and help out. At one point they had come to his room, tears in their eyes telling him that they had taken a life, that they had done so to protect their brothers and in doing so ended a human life. All had come to seek comfort, all but Donatello.

Raphael was the first, he had come late in the night to tell his story. To tell how a Foot Ninja had snuck up on Leonardo and attempted to skewer him but he had been quick enough to turn, stabbing his sai through the punk's neck and cut the vein. He told his sensei how Donatello had come running to help the fallen enemy, how he alone had tried to save the kid's life but it had been too late. Raph had killed him in order to protect his brother.

Leonardo was the second. He had come in the day time after spending a sleepless night trying to justify what he had done. Donatello had been over whelmed at one point in battle. The enemy's number was too much because they focused on the pacifist. Leonardo had noticed the Purple Dragon on the rooftop, a gun aimed at his little brother. He had acted quickly, climbing the wall in order to make it in time. The gun had gone off just as he made it to the top. Not thinking as fear consumed him, he had run at the bastard dodging the shots and driving his katana blade through the man's heart. He had watched as the man fell from the roof, falling and landing on the ground next to Donatello. After seeing his brother's worried eyes look up at him, he knew that his brother had somehow dodged the shot.

Michelangelo was last, he had come running into the room after the mission crying and sobbing in his father's arms. He said that he had not meant it, that he had just tried to stop him from hurting Raph. He too had killed a Purple Dragon. He was fighting a group of them when he noticed a large one moving slowly behind his brother. Without fully thinking, Michelangelo had jumped on his back while wrapping the chain of his nunchuk around the other's neck. The large opponent had flailed and swung him around rapidly, trying to get him off. It had taken sometime but the large man suddenly fell to the ground. The young turtle had thought that he simply passed out but after Donatello had checked his pulse and immediately tried to give him CPR, he knew he had done more than just K.O him.

It was Donatello they turned to first for reassurance. It was Donatello who soothed their aches and pains after taking a life. It was Donatello who talked to them, encouraged them to talk about how they felt, who told them that bottling the pain and heartache would only make them suffer more. It was Donatello who told them to go to him and talk, so they knew that his words were true. Donatello was no leader, Donatello did not have physical strength, Donatello was not quick and agile. No, Donatello was intelligent, kind, caring, but most of all, he bore the weight of the family on his shoulders forever with a gentle smile on his face.

~LRDM~

Donnie was working in his lab. It was his second day of confinement and he showed no signs that he was upset or angry. He smiled and laughed, played games with Mikey, meditated with Leo and fixed the Stealth Shell with Raph. Everything was back to normal, well as normal as it could get from three weeks ago. He knew what was coming as spring drew near. He knew that could have caused their behavior and that it could be why they were so patient. They had asked early in order to give him time. He turned off his blow torch and rubbed his eyes. They had asked him, all within three days. Each of them had come, nervous and scared but each had found the courage to ask.

It had been a shock to say the least. He never would have expected that from them, let alone be able to answer them. He loved them all dearly but sadly, not in the way they were hoping for. There was too much for him to do, to fix, to make that would save their lives. It wasn't like he hadn't thought of it before, being as they are the only ones of their kind and that the possibilities of mating a human were slim to none, about one in a one billion chance and since there were seven billion people on the planet that averaged to far less than one percent. This was why he left his crush on April go. Even if he could make her happy, the most he could provide her was their own sewer to live in. It wasn't right, and he couldn't bring himself to keep her from the sun. To Donatello, he knew he would have to figure it out soon, that his brothers, all three had chosen him and he wasn't sure if he should be flattered or terrified. He himself did not like being the center of attention, not unless he put himself there with a new invention.

He looked down at his cold coffee, staring at his reflection in what his master called the black poison. He looked at his dark eyes, his odd skin color and his slender form. He was the thinnest of his brothers but the tallest. Unlike his brothers, he was physically weak. No matter how hard he tried, no matter how perfect his katas were he just couldn't match them. He couldn't fight on par with them. So long ago he took up the books on the shelf that his brothers ignored. It was here that he found purpose, fond his strength and the ability to help his family. The more he learned, the safer his family became. It wasn't long after his first security system proved successful by warning them of a flood did he see the eyes of his father fall on him with pride. That was the first verbal praise he had ever received. He recalled their 13th birthday. Master splinter had gone out for food and left Leo in charge. Things were quiet that day until their master came back with gifts wrapped in old newspaper. Leo had gotten his first real Katanas; the look on his face was so priceless. Like god himself had given them to him. Mikey had been given a large stack of comic books; some that they found were worth a lot of money. Raph had gotten the barbells he had wanted, had begged their father for. Yet, Donnie was forever grateful for his gift. His master, his father had given him a computer. He recalled the tears in his eyes as he looked it over. It was new, shiny and beautiful. An endless world of knowledge. He had found that his father had used his money from being a human to buy it. Money he had said was for a proper cause and none would argue the choice he had made. Giving Donnie the computer was the best thing to happen to them, because he was able to salvage things and make their lives easier.

His brothers often brought things home and placed them in his lab begging him to fix them. For Mikey it was the tv set he found, Raph took a liking to a radio and Leo a stove to make tea. Donnie never argued with them, no he was all too happy to be of use to them in some way. He always looked forward to the challenge they would bring him when they walked through the door.

Now, he dreaded it. He hated when they walked in alone and carry on conversations hoping the subject would shift to something of interest to them. Donnie found it exhausting trying to keep the conversation innocent. To keep it from swaying in the direction he didn't want it to go. Their visits were becoming more frequent, more demanding. He set the cup down and hung his head. They didn't know that the others had wanted the same thing of him. The others didn't know and he was going to keep it that way. He couldn't chose, wouldn't chose because the others would be hurt. He saw nothing in himself that would appeal to them, nothing that would beckon their attention to him.

He thought to the time Slash had beaten him, of how he had taunted him. 'You're weak, the weakest of them. Thin, frail, nothing like a ninja. You lack the killer instinct, too kind too gentle, a mistake if I had ever seen one. Shoulda been born a female, perhaps then you could be truly useful to them.'

He narrowed his eyes. Could that be it? Could they want him simply because he was the closest to a female? He shook the idea from his head. No, they were not like that. His brothers knew who he was who he truly was and Slash had wanted to get a rise out of him. He wanted Donatello to lose himself in anger and attack but instead he allowed himself to be beaten, for his arm to be dislocated and his skin marred. He would not give him the fight he wanted, and that only served to anger him more.

A hand was placed on his shoulder. He jumped from his thoughts and jerked from his chair standing defensively his dark eyes narrowed as he looked at his eldest brother. "I was going to ask if you were okay." He folded his arms across his chest and looked at him. It was the same look Splinter gave them when he wanted an explanation.

"I was thinking." His body relaxed and he moved to the coffee maker to start another pot. "I think I can add a drill to the ShellRaiser as a way to cut through Kraang ground units and…" his body tensed as he felt his brother hug him from behind. A hug had never bothered him much, Mikey does it any chance he could get but this…there was intention behind it and the seasons were changing. Spring was coming soon and his time was running out. He could feel his elder brother's wet breath on his neck; he could hear his deep inhale knowing fully well that he was taking in his scent. This would be Leo's third mating season, Raph's second and by the look of it, Mikey's first. As for Donnie, he couldn't be sure if he was ever going to experience it. He was not in the best of health; his body was more focused on caring for its self in place of wanting pleasure. During the season, they were locked in their rooms with Splinter feeding them through the slots. Those who showed no signs of sexual maturity would be released but those that did were forced to stay locked away for their own safety. Raph had nearly killed Leo last year when his maturity had been hit and hormones had clouded his mind causing him to see Leo as a rival.

"Leo…" his voice trembled and he shook. His elder brother had been the first to come into his lab, his cheeks were red and his eyes barely looked at him. At first, Donnie had thought he and Raph had another fight. Whenever they did Leo would come in first and talk and Raph would follow a few hours later after he calmed down. He recalled it all too well…

_ He had been sitting down at his computer running scans for viruses on one computer and updating his codes for Metalhead with the other he had built himself. It was kinda late when Leo walked into the room, by his guess he was up waiting for Raph to come home. The silence was enough to say that this was going to be a different kind of talk. Something more important than a fight. "I got your tea ready, just the way you like it." He poured him a cup and handed it to his brother who seemed to blush even more as their hands briefly touched. "Did Raph get home safely?"_

_ It happened for a moment but he barely caught it, the slight look of jealousy. "Yeah, h-he's fine." He choked out, sounding as if there was a lump in his throat. He looked at his cup of green tea that Donnie had specially ordered from Japan for him and their sensei. It was delicious tea, an herbal recipe handed down from the feudal times. "Hey Donnie…"he paused as if unsure to continue. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, regaining himself as a leader, an elder brother. "What are your plans for Mating Season? I'm sure you and/or Mikey are going to go through it this year and I was wondering…"_

_ Donnie smiled in understanding. "You want to know the best ways to ease everything right? Well I think during this time we can try to pleasure ourselves, I know it sounds out right ridiculous but given the circumstances it will be used to release the tension and…"his hands were suddenly taken by his elder brother's and he was pulled into a tight embrace. "L-Leo?" his voice was soft, unsure._

_ They stayed that way for a moment before Leo moved back and cupped is face between his hands. Brilliant and calculating silver eyes looked to him, his cheeks blushing a deeper red then he had ever seen before. "I wasn't asking that…I was asking…If you would be my mate?"_

_ Now it was Donnie's turn to blush. Mate? Mate with Leonardo, his eldest brother, their leader? It was so sudden, too soon too fast. Yet, for Leo how hard had it been to drag himself in here to ask? Donnie had recalled the first season; the one no one knew was coming. Leo had been off. He was eating more and practicing more and even initiating some of the fights between him and Raph. He had attacked him out right one day, pinning him to the ground snarling at him. It was unprovoked. Raph had simply walked past him. Leo touched him, scanned the hothead's body with his eyes before growling and pushing off of him. His eyes turned to Donnie then, his movements quick and calculating. He had pinned him to the ground, touching and scanning him like he had Raph. Yet there was no growl, just a satisfied purr. If Splinter had not come, Donnie would not have been able to escape him. _

_ All eyes fell to Donnie for an explanation, for something. He took blood samples from all of them, noting Leo's hormone levels were at a far higher rate than theirs, over ten times. They had locked him up in his room for safety as he researched the cause. "Mating Season", he declared to them. "A time when turtles reproduce in spring." And so goes it from then on each spring._

_ His silence must have spoken for him because Leo stood up then and looked down at his brother. "I didn't expect an answer today or even tomorrow. Think about it and let me know, please? Even if the answer is no…just don't leave me wondering…hoping…" he paused at the door. He wanted to say more you could see it, but he didn't. He said nothing, choosing to leave his awestruck brother alone to contemplate._

"Do you have an answer?" he asked in a hushed tone. He had waited for some time, wondering, waiting for any sign any hint that his brother was going to agree but Donnie was good when it came to secrets, he hid them well. After all Donnie wasn't the quiet one for nothing. His hold on his brother tightened as his heat surrounded him. He had always kept his eyes out for Donnie. His paranoia about the pacifist grew the more the other refused to harm his enemies. Donnie would never listen to him, no matter how many times he argued with him he would only smile and keep his voice low, never raising it once.

The violet-clad turtle lowered his head. He couldn't answer him…he wouldn't answer him. Answering him meant the others would hurt. Denying him would make him hurt. Either way, he was forced against the wall, trapped. There was no way out, no way to stop it. Not unless he rejected them all but then he would have to face their pained expressions and he clearly didn't want that. No, he had to buy more time, to properly think it through.

"LEO!" the youngest voice rang out causing said turtle to release the other in favor of tending to him. Mikey ran into the lab, his eyes frantic as he tried to catch his breath. "Dude…Kraamng attack…Murakami-san's!"

On instinct, Donnie moved to get his Bo but was stopped before he could touch it. "Oh no, not you braniac, you're grounded remember? It's for your own good." Leo said with his leader voice the one brimming with authority. He could not disobey him; he had to be the level headed one. He looked to both Raph and Mikey; they held the same look on their faces. Fighting would be like trying to swim with his arms bound. He took a deep breath and moved away from the Bo. He couldn't go. He couldn't be there to explain why the Kraang were at Murikami's, he couldn't explain what their new weapon was and why they should stay away from it. He wasn't going to be there to hack the Kraang computers if they were to follow them the enemy base. He wouldn't be there to help them against the one enemy that put his usefulness to the tests. Fear began to consume him, take over. He was terrified of losing his brothers, he didn't know what the Kraang had planned, what they were going to do, why they wanted to do it but it was not knowing that terrified him the most.

'Fear will be his downfall.' Splinter's warning rang in the other's heads. 'So don't give him reason to fear.' Mikey smiled. "DUDE! I like totally can't wait to trash some Kraang bots! We're so going to kick some shell!" it didn't take long for the other two to catch on.

"Yeh! The robo-cans are going to eat my sais!" Raph shouted, cheering along with Mikey. He spun his sais and grinned while doing so. "Me babies are gonna be swing'en and sing'en!"

Leo nodded. "Don't worry Donnie! We'll bring you back a toy or two! I'm sure you'll love it!" he said watching the other smile slightly and shake his head at their nonsense.

Donnie couldn't help but smile. They were trying to cheer him up, to make his burden of worrying lessen but it didn't. It was awful, horrible this ache in his chest beating like a war drum. He lowered his head. This had to be how Splinter feels every time they left the lair to fight. He would have to ask his father how he was able to handle it. How he was able to stand the fear, the waiting, the hoping. But for now, he simply watched as Mikey bounced off after Leo. Raph stayed, his emerald eyes looking at his younger brother. "We'll be fine. Don't worry 'bout us." He shot his brother a wide grin before running off and leaving him alone.

Fear began to grow with in him, eating him alive. He balled his fists at his side; he wasn't one to burst out in anger. That was Raph's bit. Yet here and now Donnie felt as if he was going to burst. He couldn't help it, it was driving him insane. He couldn't just sit there and do nothing; he had to go despite what they said. He had to know that they were safe, that they were going to come home. He moved quickly, grabbing his Bo and turned to the garage door. "Donatello, where do you think you are going?" he was using his father voice, the kind one brimming with authority. Said turtle froze in place, waiting to be lectured.

After a long pause with nothing said, Donnie broke the silence. "I can't sit here and wait. They'll need my help, what if they get hurt? Mikey constantly needs first-aid he'll hurt himself and he'll need me there to tell him everything will be okay, Raph will lose his temper and take things too far so I need to be there to calm him down and Leo will need a right hand someone he could bounce ideas off of and reassure him that his plan will work." Tears were streaming down his face as his body visibly shook. "Otoo-san…I-I need to be there for them. I can't sit here and do nothing while they're out there protecting me."

The old rat nodded and rubbed his beard. "It is understandable to care so deeply for your brothers, but Donatello tell me how do you expect them to fight if they have to keep their eyes on you?" he stepped forward and placed his hand on his son's shoulder. "You are strong my son, you hold the weight of this family on your shoulders but you do not need it to be so. When I pass…"

Donatello turned then, his eyes locking on his father. "Otoo-san, don't say that…" the elder raised his hand silencing him.

"It is a fact I cannot hide from. One day I will pass on and be with my beloved Tang Shen again. When that day comes, your brothers will need you most of all. For it is your level head and your ability to smile through the hardships that will help them to endure. You are closest to them all, I can see it." He knew exactly how each would react. Raphael would be the most unpredictable. He looked to Donatello as the true strength in the clan.

The teen took in the knowledge of his father, the undying truths that his words were indeed the wisdom of an old rat. Yet his mind could not be turned from the fact that they were out there because of him. They were risking their lives because of him, because he existed. The grip on his Bo tightened. If they were to get hurt…if something happened to them it was his fault. Everything was his fault. It always was. He shook his head, his eyes looking but not seeing. "Watashi o…nani desu ka?" he asked, unsure of anything he could do to help.

A hand fell on his shoulder, a loving kind hand that he knew so well. The hand that had raised him… "Endure. Have faith and endure the concern, face your fear. They will come home, they are your brothers, believe in them. If you do not, then you have failed them." Splinter let out a deep sigh and left his son to his own thoughts.

To Donatello, the seed had already been planted. His fears were too much to handle and they were growing as fast as bamboo inside his heart. 'Endure, if you do not you have failed them.' His father's words replayed in his head over and over again. "Aniki…Onii-san…Otoouto-san…" he fell to his knees, his head hanging in his hand. "Come home…come home safely."

**A/N**

**Translations may not be fully accurate but as I am still a student learning please forgive me if they are wrong!**

**Watashi o…nani desu ka? – What am I to do?**

**Aniki- a familiar term for elder brother, how Donnie refers to Leo**

**Onii-san- Older brother, how Donnie refers to Raph**

**Otoouto-san- younger brother, how Donnie refers to Mikey**

**If I ever forget a translation please let me know! Hope you enjoyed this chapter!**


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